Yesterday afternoon I went back to the house to get some more of my food and important papers. I was planning to spend a few hours packing some more stuff. She had told me that I need to move by Nov 15 and I intended to try to put everything back how it was when I moved in. I had tried to set boundaries to protect myself and be respectful of her and her house. But... but I just don't understand how someone can consider themselves an advocate and a safe person and treat someone like I've been treated.
When I got to the house, I noticed right away that the doorknobs were changed. My heart sank. I walked around the house and tried the other doors but they were all solidly locked, barring my access to my belongings. Even the things I'm trying to sell for income.
By the time I climbed back into my car I was trembling with hurt and anger. I held back the explosive wails that tried to force their way out. But the tears ran down my cheeks all the way back to the shelter. And now and then a sob of anguish escaped. The pain and shock were almost unbearable.
What did I do to deserve such treatment?
Have I ever made her feel unsafe so that she couldn't wait to lock me out of the house?
I tried to be respectful of her house and treat it like it was mine in terms of taking care of it and being responsible. Have I failed somewhere?
I set boundaries to try to protect myself from being hurt even more by her, I'm told I didn't do anything wrong, but why has she taken such offense?
When I ended up in the safe house 2 days ago, she never once contacted me to communicate or even see if I'm ok, so why did she go to such an extent of changing all the doorknobs so I no longer have access? Why?
It blows my mind how someone can portray themselves as safe and an advocate and then treat a known trauma and abuse survivor as they have treated me. There seems to be no compassion whatsoever for my situation ever since I tried to set boundaries with her. I'm afraid of the harm that she will do to other people if she gets away with treating me like this.
And then there's the aspect of considering oneself a Christian...if you are a true one then how can you justify treating someone like I have been just treated??
How in the world are such actions justified?
I came back to the shelter and wailed in the office. The poor lady kept asking what was wrong. I eventually was able to tell her.
I told a few other friends and my police officer friend told me that what she is doing is illegal. That to be legal she should have served me an eviction notice. She had told me I need to be out by Nov. 15 and I was fully intending to do so. I just didn't know how or where to go because I can't afford anything. But I had slowly been packing some of my things in preparation. I was also told that because I had been living there for more than 30 days then I have established residency and therefore I have rights to the property to get my belongings.
I'm still in shock. I never expected it to come to this. I have tried to treat her like I would want to be treated. But this just blows my mind. I'm still angry. Rightfully angry. This person who I thought was my most supportive friend 3 months ago now literally has become my enemy and the only reason I can think is because I tried to set reasonable boundaries to protect myself since I was beginning to see that she is unable to keep from lashing out at me and I can't handle that.
I've been told I don't deserve this.
I've been told that I could sue her for damages because if my food goes bad its money wasted and at this point I can't afford to waste anything. Plus if people purchase any of the physical products that I have up for sale I can't even access the product to ship it.
At this point I don't know what I will do. I think first I need to find a place to store my belongings because I don't want to go back any more than I have to after such a betrayal from someone I thought a few months ago was my friend. I'm also thinking of seeing if I can apply for a part time job somewhere. (Edited to add: I did apply at a local grocery store this morning)
Other than that, I guess I'll share more when more happens....just keep me in your thoughts as I try to navigate this mess legally and as respectfully as I can. I gave her plenty of grace and space but this last thing has gone too far...it feels revengeful. Like I'm being kicked when I'm already down. I feel like I'm still in shock this morning.