I came across this song tonight and I really like it. It may become my new favorite. It would be much easier to stay home, alone. It would be much easier to let the walls up, maybe build them a bit higher. It would be easier to not deal with the hurts and unresolved issues of trauma and pain. It would seem much easier to shove everything we hate about life into a deep dark corner of the soul. It would seem easier to just deny certain things and live as though they never happened.
But, God wants us to do the opposite. I've just been reminded tonight once again how unworthy I am of Jesus. I don't understand what He sees in me but He must see potential that I certainly don't. I've just been pondering since the conference the past weekend how I kept hearing the phrase "we are a broken people". Over and over. Past all the pride. Past all the walls. Past the face everyone sees. Down to the dirt and grit of it. I am a broken person. Very broken. Somedays I wonder why I keep going, and you know what the answer is?
Jesus. Why? Because He is a Rock, a firm foundation.(Psalms) His right hand holds mine.(Isaiah) He sings to me, woos me, draws me. (Zephaniah) He loves me. (John) He forgives me when I mess up or disobey.(1 John 1) He is a Refuge in the Storm.(Psalms) He is a shield.(Psalms) He is My Healer. He is my deliverer. He is my safe place. He is my listening ear. He understands when I can't put it in words...and so much more...often I wonder why He doesn't give up on me...instead...
He keeps calling me higher and deeper...painful as it is, I really don't want it any other way...