This kinda depicts my feelings of today...moving out of state and some of the things that happened leading up to it and after make me feel like I have indeed escaped the claws of the enemy...
One day out of the blue I got a letter from an older Mennonite lady in another state saying that I shall write her back that she'd like to get back in touch again. About 14+ years ago this lady would sit in on my sessions while her husband "counseled" me. She had taught me how to do macrame and sew fabric bags. But in my current state of life is knew she'd be very disappointed and perhaps treat me like others have in the past who did not support/were not open to my decisions. She said she found out I lived there through the lady downstairs' sister (talk about the gossip grapevine😖) I threw her letter away, knowing I had no interest or energy to let her back in my life.
Sometime later, maybe a month, I was in my room on a Sunday morning and all of a sudden I hear a strange voice asking if they can visit me.(I had my door shut and locked for fear of the lady downstairs) I was too scared to see who it was so I remained completely silent till they left. I hadn't heard anyone come but when they left I noticed that it was Mennonites and they were from my parent's state and right away if thought my parents were trying to get a hold of me because the CPS had just been out a few days before. But it wasn't my mom's voice. Somehow they knew that the only time I would surely be home was on a Sunday morning when everyone is usually at church.
A bit later, maybe a month, the weekend before I moved out I got a phone call from a person who used to be my best friend but had written me the nastiest letter when I chose to leave the Mennonites. I didn't answer the phone but in her message she said that she just had a longing to spend time with me again. (Makes me feel sick just writing this)
The next Saturday I moved out and that Sunday evening this person called three times and left 3 messages which I didn't listen to. The audacity...
Now today I was texting with my sister and she said that my mom said that a "good friend" told her that apparently God wanted her to know that I had moved to another state and she tried to get out of my sister what area I moved to.
You see, my mom tends to bring God into any conversation where it might give her the upper hand and make the other person feel in the wrong when they aren't wrong. Just a form of manipulation...she has no respect or care for me even if she says she does...isn't there a verse that says we shall know them by their fruits? I have had neighbors and friends tell me my parents did their best, didn't mean it etc, etc...well, perhaps those people should start looking at the rotten fruit behind the scene...how can they know my parents as well as I do? Have they lived with them all their life?
As for this painting, I've been feeling all day like I have just so escaped the clutches of the many people who have been unsafe and unsupportive...especially my parents and a few siblings as well as certain "friends" in sheep's clothing...
The darkness and claws belong to those who would just love to get a hold of me and grind me into submission to man-made rules of religion. The lioness(read my last blog post to understand the significance of this animal in my painting) is my core(adult) self who stands between the younger parts of me that are trying to heal. The younger parts of me symbolized by the tiny girl on the path already feels safe enough in their new place that she has already been able to slow down and pick/enjoy the flowers along the path. Together they (the little girl) and the lioness (the adult part of me) walk towards healing and a brighter future that could not have been had otherwise...
Thanks for reading! May it encourage someone on their own journey!