Writing An Essay

This past week I was working on my next lesson of my alternative health practitioner course when I read that rosemary essential oil used in aromatherapy can help students focus better on studying but also has the potential to help the brain retain information. I have been seeing the number 4 a lot the last while and apparently that means to stick to the practical things so when I finished that lesson I decided to dig out my rosemary oil and put it to the test to help me work on my GED course that I've been working on since 2016.

Not only is that a while ago but there's also a lot of painful memories associated with it that makes it very hard to focus and retain information when I do try to work on it. The memories range from doing lessons as a child with all the punishments to abusive employers to people who were in my life and then showed me that they weren't really my friends. One of my goals this winter was to see if I can finish it or at least get past the hard books to the fun books as I could choose 4 different ones from topics I am interested in to finish out the course. My current book was about writing an essay and then there's one more about writing before I get to the last 4 fun ones. I decided to solicit the help of this binaural beats video that always helps me focus better in addition to sniffing the rosemary oil as I work on my next lesson.

The result was astounding! Never in my life have I been able to focus and enjoy studying as well as I have this week. Not only was I able to finish the first book of my health course but I was able to finish my essay book yesterday which ended with an assignment to write a specific essay to send to the school for grading. Now I can't say that I got the best scores but at least I didn't have to redo any of the lessons which happened near constantly as a child.

I am so proud of myself.

I never dreamed I'd be able to do as much as I have in the last several days. All of a sudden it looks fun and possible and I'm a bit disappointed that I have to wait now for the next books to come in the mail.

The essay was supposed to be about someone who really influenced me in my life whether it was a parent, grandparent, sibling,etc. I couldn't think of one person to write about as either they're unhealthy, abusive people or they were people who I thought were friends till they showed me their true colors. I was allowed to invent someone if I needed to but right away I knew I wanted to write about my higher self/ my spirit/ soul.

"The higher self refers to a deeper aspect of your consciousness that is spiritual and transcends the ego, embodying wisdom, peace, and a connection to the universe. It serves as a guide, helping you align with your true purpose and make choices that foster personal growth and fulfillment." (AI description based on several sources)

Because if it wasn't for that part of me I wouldn't have been able to survive childhood as well as I have. Without further ado, here is a copy of the essay with links to some of the stories referenced for those who have not yet heard/ read them:

I am the being I am today due to the guidance of my higher self. Through horrible abuse and trauma in childhood, she kept revealing glimmers of herself through creativity and imagination that helped me survive a harsh environment. She showed up through algophobia, when as a teen, unaliving myself appeared to be the only feasible escape. She bubbled up within as a determined resolve to heal when I wanted to give up. She gently nudged me toward woodland cover when life became unbearable and introduced me to the relaxing past time of bird watching. Other times she lent me wings of creativity that helped me escape reality for a while. As healing continues she keeps inspiring me with beautiful, life giving dreams and nudges me forward on my healing journey which also inspires those who are observing.

These moments of interacting with my higher self throughout my life helps me see who I really am. Despite all the painful, traumatic things I've experienced she helps me see that I wish harm on no one and cannot imagine myself deliberately hurting anyone. She gives me glimmers of pure light and love that radiates from within whenever I connect with her. She connects and communicates with both plants and animals and shows me that I can follow in her footsteps. She is teaching me how to let go of my scarcity mindset and is helping me to feel at home in abundance. She loves beauty and teaches me how to be curious and enjoy the beauty around me. She keeps drawing me towards calm, peace and restful environments.

My higher self, personified in a tall white-clad doll and white horse, has graced my presence in a few major moments in the recent past. She helped me heal a very traumatic memory from childhood by coming to me in my memory and taking the pain away. Another time a painful memory involving abusive employers was triggered and once again she came to the rescue with compassion and healing. For Valentine's Day I wanted to honor her for her assistance in helping get to where I am today so I created a beautiful meal and enjoyed it in her presence.

Daily I find myself enjoying beauty everywhere I go. I am learning about medicinal plants and spices so I can become an herbalist. I'm getting my feet wet with animal communication by listening to other's experiences and practicing with the wild birds and animals around me. There are days when I catch myself in my old scarcity mindset and return to abundance. I keep working on healing the dark parts of my past so that they can be turned into beauty that can help others heal. If it wasn't for my higher self I wouldn't be alive to enjoy the vibrant life I am enjoying today.

I feel like I've climbed a mountain this week by getting so much work done in my courses. It was just totally unplanned which seems to work the best for me anyway. I like just going with the flow and doing the next thing that presents itself and in so doing I find even boring things like washing the dishes or sweeping the floor kinda fun to do. Having a set schedule and time demands stresses me out and I find that I can function much better if it happens on my personal timeline, perhaps due to all the demands I've had to deal with my entire life as well as PTSD etc that comes from trauma and abuse. I'm sure there will be more in the future but for now I've been enjoying working on my own timeline and listening to my own intuition. And so the journey continues...

Thanks for reading!🤍